grace and mercy. grace and mercy.
what a theme this has been for me the past year and a half. as this 2016 year comes to an ending, i cannot help but fall down upon my knees in reverent gratitude for the wonders and miracle workings i have seen time and time again in the making of my life story.
i rarely get it right.
i fall and i rise.
i fall again.
the pattern is one of the human way. we know no other, however i believe we all are wanting the same thing in the end-to run with reckless abandon, knowing that we cannot ultimately fail.
in the very center of my heart i actually do believe this. i have seen modern day personal miracles grace my life over and over and over. it’s become too much to take in. these ‘little’ loaves and fishes provisions serve as reminders that when the big stuff hits the fan, i am being watched, cared for and loved through it all with humility and grace.
my life has become a natural flow of blessing, a continuos gushing fountain that i cannot grasp as it channels over and through my hands swiftly. rarely do i even make the time to tell others of the wonderous life i have been gifted, let alone write it down so i will not forget.
like the dining room rug i needed that i didn’t have any extra funds for after moving, which appeared the week after moving in-offered to me free from friends who had it sitting in the garage in it’s brand new wrapped up packaging just looking for a home for it. or the coffee table i loved so much that i had given away to my mom when we could no longer house any more furniture at our old tiny apartment. after we had moved in September, i felt like it no longer belonged to me as she had owned it for a couple of years and she loves it too. on a dog walk two mornings ago, what appears on the side of the curb a few houses down but the exact coffee table put out for free from our moving neighbors, to which we swiftly scooped up and placed in front of our couch in the living room.
the EXACT table.
The holiday party this year at work, where we passes around a bag to pul out a gift card to a many great places to shop and eat. when i stuck my hand in to grab one, i felt the urge to drop that specific card and grab the one next to it, which turned out to be the most amazing gift card to the exact day spa i used to have a membership to years back that i had cancelled due to a tighter budget. secretly, i had hoped that someone in my family would gift me a day at this glorious place this season, only to have it taken up by my work of all places! besides me being prompted to pick a different card, i picked the only one out of 13 gifts that was to this heavenly place.
‘little’ miracles and blessing flow so steadily into my life i cannot contain the wonder of it all. my dear friend Robin (after explaining a most fearful situation i had to enter last week, where the grace extended to me on the other end of the phone call left me speechless) sent me a text that said,
“Kate, this is NORMAL for you. Go through this life EXPECTING this as COMMON.”
to expect this kind of living as common.
that is a lot to take in.
when she wrote this, my heart swelled with the epiphany that she was indeed right. This uncommon way to most is my way of being. at all times. it’s been years since it started and continues to abound the more i open up, trust, pray, release and let go. by doing my part, the rest is out of my hands and then flows back deeper and wider with it’s return.
oh to live in this magical existence.
when the rough patches swell up all around me like a tidal wave that seems to have to no way through, streams in the desert and ways in the wasteland appear, ushering me on toward the next dry step for my feet to journey upon.
i will not be let down.