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birthing our story

birthing our story

today i am feeling the promise of this new year much stronger than i have felt it during the actual new year holiday. i awoke with an invigorated heart, basking in the truth that NOTHING is impossible. things that i have believed would or could never happen for me was...
straw woman

straw woman

i had a vision this morning while walking our dogs in the rain. i pictured myself as a straw man (or woman rather), standing with arms out wide in an open field of wheat. a skilled archer stood at the other end of the field, bow boldly arched and pointed...
spinning world

spinning world

i awoke today to stories of an out of control world where the ‘system’ seems to be winning, and the human soul losing. oh my soul! such anguish overtakes the people, riddled with anxiety and despair for things are not as they appear to the public eye! what to do...
planting seeds

planting seeds

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but the attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.” -Byron Katie, The Work my...
dreams for sale

dreams for sale

someone wanted to buy my dream today. i’ve spent the past two years with content (that I know without a doubt that was downloaded divinely to me) just rolling around mostly in my brain. to be fair, i do have a few chapters that have made it down in written...
love letter to my soul

love letter to my soul

dear soul you work so hard for your survival let alone your thriving. your daily attempts to let not your passions be extinguished, these dripping desires from your being that you have embodied since your initial spark. you often feel as if you lose your way in this life of...
divine atmosphere

divine atmosphere

“cultivate silence. God speaks in silences. Listen quietly. sometimes you may get no message. meet thus all the same. you will absorb an atmosphere.” -God Calling (A.J. Russell) hot cup of licorice tea and rain gently pounds the patio outside as i write. faux candles illuminated, pen poised and leather...
love wins

love wins

charlotte was anything but beautiful. at least in the according to typical western american standards. with closely shaved ethnic hair, drool running from her mouth and eyes rolled back into her head while bobbing around in her wheelchair, Victor, also mentally challenged and wheelchair bound, kept complimenting her on how...
a noble calling

a noble calling

“do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world , but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” -Romans 12:2 twice yesterday was this verse brought into my presence, so any time i see a pattern i perk up and ay attention. i always try to ‘theme’...
the sacred place of struggle

the sacred place of struggle

cradling our two tea cups last week while meeting for a new year’s visit, my friend robin said something that stuck with me and can’t be shaken from my head. we shared our struggles, disappointments, victories and joys. she then mentioned what a shame it almost is to leave those...
steady feet

steady feet

grace and mercy. grace and mercy. what a theme this has been for me the past year and a half. as this 2016 year comes to an ending, i cannot help but fall down upon my knees in reverent gratitude for the wonders and miracle workings i have seen time...
a new lens

a new lens

“And then one day you realize that if you want to be rich, you’d have to give away almost everything you own.” ― Kamand Kojouri there are two things i find particularly disturbing this past week. the first one is how much stuff i have, even when i had pared...
Feet off the ground

Feet off the ground

drifting off to sleep last night, i was vividly taken back to a time where i was around 8 or 9 years old. i was riding my beloved pink schwinn bicycle down our street, it’s familiar details of the white rubber grips on the handlebars standing out in particular to...
amazing grace

amazing grace

as fear invades, creativity seems to be the first thing to leave motivation fades and dreams are the very last thing on our minds, surviving is now the name of the game, let’s just try to make it to the end of another day… our plans, goals and desires get...
shame

shame

“Grace transforms our failings full of dread into abundant, endless comfort … our failings full of shame into a noble, glorious rising … our dying full of sorrow into holy, blissful life. …. Just as our contrariness here on earth brings us pain, shame and sorrow, so grace brings us...
the watchtower

the watchtower

There was a choice yesterday- to open my door to the Jehovah’s witnesses going door to door in our new neighborhood, or hide in the hallway that I had just entered and wait for them to leave. sadly, the latter choice seems to be my standard reaction when things like...
wrestling with joy

wrestling with joy

i have realized that i don’t write to get answers, i write to become. to experience. to taste. to watch. to process. to look back in recognition of what god has done, often forgotten as i turn to begin a new page in my notebook. had these years of stories...
free

free

why, oh soul, do you act like a ship without a captain at the helm? as if the large vessel that you are could direct your life through the calms and storms of life all on your own? the invitation from the captain is to climb aboard and let go!...
tasting dust

tasting dust

while driving on the highway awhile back, two pure white doves flew across my path, against the wind and right over the chaotic cars racing down below. these gorgeous beings seemed to fly right by my windshield almost in slow motion, not too far above the traffic level. it caught...
infusion

infusion

every breath, every step ordained by you who is above all circumstances, all situations, all fear and all trouble. why oh why do i let my soul be troubled when i see before my very own eyes the streams in the wasteland forming all around me my feet standing upon...
chasing down the demons

chasing down the demons

this fight is so real. even though i believe it’s really all one giant collective dream we are participating in, the ‘realness’ couldn’t be any more tangible at times, so much so that i can all but grasp and taste it on my bittered lips. this morning has been a...
Fighter, pilgrim, warrior

Fighter, pilgrim, warrior

brave one: you are one of the few who chose this narrow path of obstacles and affliction. pilgrim: your journey twists and turns unforseen, a labyrinth of blessings and perceived curses, of both blue skies and raging seas. warrior: war on! keep the chin up and eyes steadfast on me...
7 words

7 words

i should be further along by now. in my career, in the making of my dreams a reality. with writing this book that i have been gifted all of the pieces of, but have to fully arrange them into finished work. almost 11 years of marriage and never in my...
native spirit

native spirit

oh native spirit wild soul passion is a must. throw off the dirt that binds you to this earth lift your eyes up from this filth, this dust pile you are laying in look up! look up! abounding peace, love and provision a promised land filled overflowing with milk and...
Permission

Permission

you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously. stumbling upon this quote awhile back brought great illumination to a process i often get discouraged by. how blessed my soul becomes by the truth spoken in this thought! isn’t this permission the most comforting thing...
dear people who think they know me:

dear people who think they know me:

dear everyone who think you really know me: i do not know it ‘all’ by any stretch, but i do have some educated opinions about some things! yesterday there were a few different conversations that occurred throughout my day that bothered me. when i tried to give my opinion on...
writing myself whole

writing myself whole

there has been an open tab on my computer now for over 9 months. it is an insightful podcast session that my husband Justin stumbled upon and passed my way, of which i had listened to the first 10 minutes months back when i first received this. Although what little...
love at the 11th hour

love at the 11th hour

Have you ever had that ’11th hour’ experience? That moment where literally, JUST in the nick of time something pulls together for you when you thought all hope was lost? well, i’m finding myself that residing in this space. over and over and over. for years now. sometimes (and more...
Absorbing the divine

Absorbing the divine

absorbing the divine. infusion into the deepest of depths. into every cell, tissue, sinew and bone, pulsing through my veins. does this not sound like the most lovely marinade of all? to truly absorb God, making this the place where my heart flees to find refuge, away from myself and...
A warrior's evening prayer

A warrior’s evening prayer

o tired and weary warrior on the battlefields of life sleep tonight in complete peace. you’ve been charging ahead often feeling guilty about taking breaks to relax, labeling yourself as lazy or slacking, undeserving of the utmost important part of life- REST!!!!!! learn the art of resting. learn to rest...
self censorship

self censorship

I’ve realized for quite some time now just how much stress i hold in my body. Take right now for example: even in a barely awake, fresh out of bed relaxed state, i feel myself tightly holding my stomach in, like I am preparing for some sort of battle! I...
ashes and wings

ashes and wings

the ‘right timing’ cannot be UNTIL the time it happens. the right time IS the right time of it’s unfolding. it cannot be anything else. this i am coming to an understanding in. the clock of the most divine is most certainly not my linear time frame of how I...
Soul Food

Soul Food

soul: n. the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal food: n. the material that people and animals eat: material containing carbohydrates, fats, proteins, and supplements (as minerals and vitamins) that is taken in and used in the living body for growth and repair...
Ode to the soul

Ode to the soul

Ode to my soul I’m often so hard on you. Yet you show up again and again, showing unknown parts of myself to me softening even my own harshness surprising my depths with the level of continuing compassion you hold. inside of me is an angry shell oh soul even...
evening reminder

evening reminder

you might often forget this, but make no mistake: I am FOR you! I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever rested my eyes upon. you get caught up in the human way of thinking and perceiving…these are not my ways. when you believe i am there...
Soujourn prayer

Soujourn prayer

my hope is in you who rules with love an iron scepter of grace unbreakable love for all humanity how can the soul know such mysteries? will more be revealed in time or will we be forced to wander blindfolded- the blind leading the blind guess after guess at what’s...
The Four Winds

The Four Winds

o four winds! o four corners! i cry out for you to make yourself known! the mysteries you hold, the keys you may be to unlock the hidden doors inside of me… come rush over me like a raging current over a jagged rock smoothing me with each passing day...
Cobra's Message

Cobra’s Message

Last month was a flare up with my health challenges. And I mean BAD. I’ve been going along at such a mildly steady but slow pace in the journey of my digestion healing and then this hit me right out of left field, completely leveling me. The duration was a...
The Hybrid People

The Hybrid People

hybrid people. The emerging tribe of true spirit seekers. Those that are finding their way away from ‘religion’ and spiraling upward toward authentic connection with God. I place myself amongst them, as I believe we are pure in our desires to connect with the Divine, as the judgements placed on...
The Battlefield

The Battlefield

This battle of continually letting go is a true hero’s journey, which will pass right over the weak or faint of heart, searching out only warriors that have given their life for the cause. In this case, my cause is freedom. From the voices in my head telling me things...
Enduring words

Enduring words

Thanks to the inspirational life of a very dear friend, I have reacquainted with beloved needle and thread for some good old fashioned hand stitching of garments. Like most things, I needed a little direction at the beginning, so I asked her expert opinion as to what stitch would be...
Latest entries
crowding out fear

crowding out fear

i am learning that fear attempts to hunt you down and find you. if it’s not self perpetuated, it will creatively find a name, a face, an organization, a situation- and it will begin to stalk us, it’s prey. HOWEVER…I also know that God will not take his eyes off of me-that there is hope...
no skinny birds

no skinny birds

a few weeks ago God spoke to me in the early morning hours and whispered to my heart: “you never see a skinny bird.” rubbing the sleep from my eyes i said aloud, “well, isn’t this such a simple truth!” it hit me in an entirely new way. i had grown up knowing the scripture...
out to the fields

out to the fields

a heat wave we are having right now brings wth it such fond memories of summertimes past. that makes me think of campfires and the stories that we share in that magical darkness as the sun sets and is replaced with a million twinkling stars. ah stories! i have been struggling to get mine birthed...
the birth of the soul

the birth of the soul

‘you try to escape the pain, yet God sees tender compassion for the other sufferers finding birth in your soul.’ – streams in the desert sometimes i wonder, who around me might be finding birth in my soul? am i affecting anyone at all, encouraging new growth in their journey? sometimes the answer is yes,...
busy bee

busy bee

a few evenings ago while walking the dog with my husband, we happened upon a bee hive in a pine tree in the yard of a home a few neighborhoods away. it was gorgeous, hanging like draped gauze from a tree branch, the white color of this structure illuminated by the setting sun. the bees...
snowglobe

snowglobe

a stirring. a rumbling. there is movement swirling around me- i can feel it. this upcoming trip to Bethel feels like a pilgrimage to my soul, part of a much bigger calling than i have yet to grab hold of. no wonder all hell threatens to break loose right before this type of inspiration, this...
life of a fool

life of a fool

“In order to share one’s true brilliance one initially has to risk looking like a fool: genius is like a wheel that spins so fast, it at first glance appears to be sitting still.” ― Criss Jami, Venus in Arms to appear foolish. or lazy. i’ve tried to protect myself my whole life of such...
circle making

circle making

people have always commented throughout my life about the way i love others, with a full heart and an openness that few possess. they tell me it’s one of my greatest gifts for this world. while i appreciate this and strive for more love and healing upon the world and the lives around me, i...
diamonds in the dust

diamonds in the dust

oh beloved soul the desert was hard on you figuratively and literally, emotionally and spiritually. what could be seen reported discouragement like the barren and parched land of your travels, but what you had not yet seen were the diamonds in the desert… (my journal entry this morning) we went away this past week, to...
loving the thread

loving the thread

i began hand stitching another garment this past week, a project that is most dear to my heart that a close friend introduced me to a couple of year ago. we work on crafting our pieces both together and apart from each other when we return to our respective homes. these labors of love continue...
the net

the net

step up. enter the next chapter with faith and assurance. the net is always there. nets are not made to be seen. they are woven tightly together, strong enough to carry more than your weight, and breathtaking for the onlooker who sees nothing but a perfect landing after entertaining fear for the safety of the...
life uncommon

life uncommon

“Set your standards very high. Aim at conquering a world, the world all around you….YOU may not see the work. Today they may not need you. I may send you strange visitors. Nobody must come and feel unwanted”- God Calling from February 24th and 25th deep passion for the warrior spirit resides within me. so...